Who will save us from the evil genius in the White House?

If your thoughts are turning to Donald Trump just now, you are on the wrong track. Both the words “evil” and “genius” are well within the debatable areas of that converstion as far as I can see. Nevertheless, there is a man lurking in and around the Oval Office who is definitely evil, although I would keep the term “genius” within the realm of the debatable.

That person is Steve Bannon. I wouldn’t be surprised if Bannon is an intelligent man. However, it looks very much like he has been short-changed on genius–he doesn’t know what year it is. You see, Bannon proclaims himself a “Leninist” at every opportunity, loudly affirming his commitment to revolution. He is all about abolishing the “authoritarian state,” which I intend to rebut with all my might as soon as I am sure what he is talking about.

You see, Lenin was with us during the Russian Revolution. Don’t you think Bannon will be delighted to hear that? Between Lenin and Karl Marx, a new Soviet Union emerged from Czarist Russia. The thing about it, though, is that somebody has to break it to Bannon that the revolution was a hundred years ago now. I think that Marx and Lenin’s issues have pretty much been dealt with.

And then, while Bannon was presumably reading Lenin and not paying attention to world history, there was some more revolutionary activity. I know it happened–I marched behind Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., in the streets of Chicago in support of civil rights and peace. And that revolution was pretty darn successful, at least if you ask me. Don’t ask Bannon, though–he missed it, apparently.

So Bannon hied himself to Breitbart some time ago, from whence he began a campaign of fake news–the only kind of news he can live with. I’m pretty sure Bannon doesn’t have any knowledge of American civics, democracy or the Constitution. He isn’t unique in that, either–the debacle of Rush Limbaugh’s fact-free attacks on Sandra Fluke indicated that a knowledge of human reproduction is not necessary to debate that issue.  Nor does Bannon need real factual information to feed to Donald Trump and inspire his Twitter rants and his wild accusations that President Barack Obama picked up a phone and “ordered” wiretaps to be placed on Trump phones (to say nothing of the unimpressive intellectual context of the Republican Party).

And by the way, if Trump is concerned about his cyber security, how about he lets the Intelligence community provide him with secure telephones, especially cell phones, now? I’m just asking!

And now we hear that our so-called president is wandering around a barricaded White House in his bathrobe, watching Fox News on every television set in the joint. Bannon whispers in his ear and what does Trump know? He never needed to know facts before. He doesn’t know any better than to listen to Bannon–besides, he sees it on Fox News. If you see it on television, it’s true, right? And if you cover your telephones with aluminum foil, they can’t be tapped, isn’t that true?

I have room in my heart to pity the pitiful, terrorized, ignorant Trump. His staff is now canceling events and keeping him from the press. By the way, journalists, the actions of Trump’s staff are not intended to keep you from him–they are trying to keep him from you, so he doesn’t melt down again and force Congress to call an immediate halt to the charade. Someone has to step in. He is not the same wheeler-dealer who went around the world doing business, surrounded by advisors who actually knew how business is done. He is a pathetic, disoriented, isolated man.

So Bannon, here is your choice: we can do this the hard way, or the easy way. The easy way is you get out of town and are not heard from again except on the Internet. Just pack up quietly, shake Donald’s hand and catch a taxi. That will be far better for everyone.

If you want to do it the hard way, Bannon, you can try to hang in there, throwing sugar into the gas tank until somebody comes to the White House and takes Trump away in handcuffs and tears. They will have a pair of cuffs in your size, and don’t say that nobody warned you. Skipping the latter half of the Twentieth Century is not recommended as a good preparation for presidential politics.

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