It’s time we did something for the needy in our lives. I try to be aware of what is going on in the world but I totally missed the Bowling Green and Swedish terror attacks. It was only through the kind direction of President Trump and his administration that I was made aware of these tragedies. The news media, as our President has made clear, refuses to cover terror attacks, rather they focus on such ridculous things as Russia intervening in the electoral process of the United States. What a hoax that rumor is!
I’m so Grateful for President Trump and his minions for keeping me informed on these terrorist attacks involving “radical Muslim terrorists” that I decided to do something for the families of the victims. I can’t find out how many victims there were but the ones I talked to said they would appreciate any help we could give them. So I got busy. First I contacted Billionaire Mark Cuban who was ever so helpful in getting the venue in Dallas, Texas. He tells me that anything he can do for the families he will do. He also had heard nothing about these two attacks except through the pronouncements of the Trump administration. He too was shocked that the media would not cover such events and blamed it on the liberal bias of the failing New York Times and CNN. Sad!
Next I needed a host. The best “host” I could think of was Stephen Colbert. Colbert’ ratings have skyrocketed upward since Trump was elected. A grateful Colbert agreed to host. Then I turned to acts. It was amazing that so many great artists are willing to help out the families of Bowling Green and Sweden.
Opening our show will be the great Swedish Band Abba. They are reforming specifically to sing “Dancing Queen” to that Milo guy who has evidently lost everything through some media led lies about his “bigly” sex life. Then Dolly Parten will be singing “Island’s in the stream” dedicated to our wonderful President. She requested that water cannons fire yellow streams during her song. Yellow must be her favorite color.
One of my favorite artists is the iconic Jimmy Buffett who will perform “Why don’t we get drunk “we’re” screwed”! He’s such a clown. And our grand finale will be former Beatle Paul McCartney performing the classic “Back in the USSR”. Its so wonderful that so many are willing to help out our friends in need.
BREAKING NEWS: The above is a work of satire and is not true in the least. It’s generally in poor taste with dark humor. If you chose to believe it I will sell you a multicolored unicorn. But hey! That’s life in the USA under Trump!