So I have a bone to pick with all of you mean, lying, America-hating liberals!
Let’s get one thing straight! Republicans believe in equal and civil rights! And don’t your dare say differently!
Unless, of course…
You’re gay… In which case you can’t get married or adopt children… Oh yeah, also? You’re an abomination and going to hell and God hates your sin but not you; no seriously, you’re cool… Except your “sin” is who you are… So yeah, scratch that, God really does hate you.
You’re a woman… In which case you don’t have control of your body and don’t deserve equal pay…oh yeah, also? You’re a slut. You should know your place then you wouldn’t be so dang sensitive. I know you were raped but, seriously, you were asking for it, just look how you were dressed! And you were drunk, ladies don’t do that unless they want to have sex so you weren’t really raped… You liked it… You know you did!
You’re Hispanic… In which case we don’t want you here, we want to tag and track you like a dog. Also? You’re rapists, criminals and drunk drug dealers. And since all of you brown people look alike it’s not our fault if you get treated poorly you shouldn’t look like the rest of them. Also? You’re brown so you MIGHT be a terrorist. And you talk funny. Speak English like normal people do!
You’re black… In which case even if you are on your back with your hands in the air or running with your back to us you should be aware that there is a completely justifiable chance of being shot in the back. Oh yeah, also? you’re a thug and probably a criminal so you probably deserve it. Also… Screw due process. Oh, I almost forgot, get over slavery already it happened a long time ago and your own people sold your people into slavery, so you see, it’s not really our fault.
You’re a Muslim… In which case you should expect to be harassed, ostracized, publicly shamed and insulted. Oh yeah, also? You’re probably a terrorist and hate America, so really it’s not our fault and you probably deserve it. Oh…also… You dress funny so its kind of your fault.
You’re an atheist… Don’t you know this is America, this is God’s country, this is a Christian nation Dammit! Oh yeah, also? You love Satan and you kicked God out of school so it’s your fault we are in such a mess and our kids get shot at school so stop blaming guns! Guns don’t kill people, atheists kicking God out of school kill people.
You’re poor… In which case you need to pull yourself up by the boot straps of the boots you can’t even afford to buy, starve and die of disease because you you don’t have food or insurance. Oh yeah, you’re a lazy leech draining society dry.
So yeah, other than that we believe in civil and equal rights. How dare you say differently? So in 2016 the election is gonna be HUGE! Get out and vote Republican and help make America whi…um… Excuse me… GREAT again! Help us take our country back (to the 1940s when all of this was normal and the people weren’t pu$$13$ and none of this was racist, sexist or bigoted!)