Gilligan’s Island and the 70s

In our time of need, Remember the lessons learned in the 70s

So one afternoon, in the late 70s, as I was ignoring my oppressive and morally compromised babysitter. I was settling in with a peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwich to see where I was going today. Could it be this is the day the castaways get their collective shit together and get off the island? Or another adventure that was subconsciously teaching me Aesop’s tales mixed with Shakespearean whimsy. As we tuned the dial to channel 35, waiting for the theme song to take me away is when I heard it. That horrible rambling theme song of an angry man. Ladies and gentlemen welcome to Gunsmoke!

I was pissed! How could they do this to me! I didn’t know it then, but I was learning one of the most important lessons in my life. No, not how to deal with disappointment, but the feeling deep down that something nefarious was afoot. As I watched this dick wander through the town of pathetic and helpless people looking to a man with a gun who indiscriminately kills without hesitation or remorse to solve their petty little squabbles. Have a problem? Shoot your way out. Person in your way and not listening to your point of view? Bang, paper bag, pow! Too bad they could never figure out how to shoot ideas and ideals. This show portrayed black people as outsiders that one day would be allowed in, and the genocide of 100 million indigenous people was downplayed as God Given country. Women had the right to cook, shoot, and shut up.

This was bull.

Something was rotten in Denmark and I knew it!

As it turns out my paranoia was correct. Gilligan’s island was cancelled and not renewed to make room for the shit show known as Gunsmoke. I don’t care how many people got their start and some their end on that show. From Rockford to Han Solo to Jesus f…ing Christ, it didn’t matter. It was a pivotal time for the kids of the 70s, and you can tell from the current Republican nominee who was Team Gilligan and who is bat shit crazy. I’m looking at you clown meat!

This is why you have a split in middle-aged Americans. Some watched a show that glamorized guns and violence with a side of sadness. Life is hard and meant to be until you are called home to paradise so just shut up and quit your crying before I give you something to cry about. Or, a larger number of kids who preferred to be happy and optimistic, to work together to solve difficult problems with an even hand. I guess that’s why some folk think it’s OK to walk down the street with a cartoonishly large assault rifle when others view them with suspicion and marvel at how truly sad and selfish they appear to sane folks.

As it is after the shooting in Orlando; just Monday a man in Pennsylvania, shot and killed three people with his fancy rifle for no reason. Its times like these that I wish the whole gang was here to tell these people we have to work with each other to solve these problems and not wait for the mysterious stranger to come to town to shoot them.

It’s well past time to take these dangerous toys out of the hands of all the children until they learn the lessons, values, and compassion of the castaways.

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