Making America Great — Again

The House of Representatives’ Science Committee sent out a Twitter message Thursday afternoon that appears to mock manure alarmists, an odd and disconcerting move considering the group is tasked with overseeing the government’s role in scientific research.

Lamar Smith (R-Texas) a well known manure denialist said in a statement, “The people who have put forth the idea that we will be hip deep in horse manure are folks who hate America and free enterprise. America was built on horsepower, horses now and horses forever.”

Smith says that he agrees with President-elect Trump’s proposal to scrap horse manure research by the National Automobile Security Administration (NASA). Trump has said that we can’t Make America Great Again by restricting horse emissions. Trump has vowed to tear up the Paris (Texas) agreement which seeks to reduce horse manure emissions to 1890’s levels.

In related news Trump is touting his first economic success as he has (with a huge assist from Mike Pence) apparently kept The Carrier corporation from moving some of their buggy whip production to Mexico. Pence was able to concoct $7 million dollars in tax incentives to Carrier, which will keep about 800 buggy whip winders in their jobs for the foreseeable future.

“This is a great example of how we will Make America Great Again,” Trump said as he toured the plant. “Buggy whip know how is a truly American skill,” Trump added.

Trump brushed off criticisms from economists that the tax incentives could have been better spent as automobile factories are having trouble finding workers with the kind of skills that are needed there.

At a rally later Trump announced that he was appointing former General John “Black Jack” Pershing as his Secretary of War. “Cool nickname, right folks!” Trump said as he made the announcement, “And with that whole pig blood thing, you know he knows how to handle terrorism. He is certainly the closest thing we have to William Tecumseh Sherman.”

Pershing will join John Astor (Commerce), Henry Frick (Labor), Cornelius Vanderbilt (Transportation), Bull Connor (Homeland Security) and John D. Rockefeller (Energy) as nominees for Trump’s cabinet. The Republican held Senate will likely confirm all of Trump’s nominees without a hearing.

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