The Republican way of life: how sweet it was there for awhile

Once upon a time there was a man who found that one of the geese on his farm was laying golden eggs. The farmer was, of course, overjoyed and for awhile he was supremely happy. But then one day he had a brilliant idea. “If I kill the goose and cut it open,” he reasoned, “I can get all the golden eggs at one time and get very rich!” So he killed the goose and collected a few golden eggs. And soon he didn’t have any golden eggs left, but he never found another goose that laid golden eggs. Sadly, he went back to his humble farm life.

If you can wrap your mind about a large-scale golden egg farm, you have an idea of the Republican style of governing. All you need is a few geese that lay golden eggs, and you give the eggs to your corporate donors. It’s simple. This is what life is for a Republican.

But what if your rich corporate friends want all the eggs at once? What if they order you to kill the goose, or geese, and get those eggs to them pronto? Where are your golden eggs going to come from, Republicans? Pay attention, readers, because you are the dumb geese and your numbers are limited. There are only so many Americans to bankrupt, foreclose upon and ignore to death. Once you are broke, sick or dead–or you have fled for your lives to some other country, like me–the geese are gone, the golden eggs are cashed in, the Koch Brothers will die very, very rich and that’s it for you young Republicans.

If you are a Republican who has been toiling for rich corporations and you were planning your future, here is what it probably looks like: “Oh boy, one of these days it’s gonna be my turn. Those old Koch brothers are going to kick the bucket and then I’ll line up at the trough and start lapping up the swill to get all I want! I can’t wait!”

Young Republicans, you do not understand: you are not part of the plan. There isn’t going to be any left for you after you cooperate with destroying America, because destroying America produces a failed state. It would be more useful for you to buy a condo in Steve Bannon’s retirement community in Somalia, which will be under construction as soon as he comes to his senses and bolts Washington. As the so-called president strips protections for education, the environment, safety and health standards, and whatever else stands in the way of pure profit, what will be left is the country that you, today’s up-and-coming Republicans, are going to live in.

Paul Ryan will move his family to a condo in Paris, but you won’t. You and your family will be living with coal slurry in your water. Your children will be getting leukemia and your family will come down with weird diseases and pitiful defective births. And as these people ask you how you can live with yourself, you will only be able to say that you did what you were told. I mean, you didn’t dare piss off Fox News or Bill O’Reilley, or they might say bad things about you. It was a very popular defense for Nazi soldiers and war criminals.

So unlike the simple farmer, you won’t be able to go home to America. Republicans right this very minute are sitting by exercising their party loyalties and looking the other way at the so-called president’s budget that guts our safeguards and constitutes an actual attack on people who need health care. More golden eggs for the rich donors! They are ignoring the Russian scandal and keeping up their plan that if it ain’t broke, they will just break it and then say loudly that American democracy doesn’t work and we need a strong leader to step up.

For that they defrauded their third election to “elect” Donald Trump. But the joke’s on them. Trump is not only incompetent, he is deranged and possibly insane. You can look for a nervous breakdown in the Oval Office soon, and an ambulance taking Trump out on a stretcher. Steve Bannon will slip out of the country and resurface in an undisclosed location, which will be a fortress somewhere in Africa.

If you are a Republican your choice is clear: you have to cut your losses on Trump and be a hero about saving America. If you do that you will be able to hold up your head and look your grandchildren in the eye. If you do not do that, you won’t even be able to face yourself in a mirror.

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