The Butler Did It!

The TV shows of the 1950’s, 1960’s and 1970’s were awash with housekeepers. In retrospect, there must have been some reason from a writing point of view. You could put in a whacky character as a servant to contrast with the main protagonist. This must be something that film school grads would seize upon. Think about it though. They were everywhere.

“Andy Griffith”? He had Aunt Bee to help him look after Opie. “Family Affair”? Who can forget the immaculate Mr. French forced to look after the gaggle of kids dumped at his boss’s door by his sister. Where was the Children’s Protective Service then? “My Three Sons’ had Uncle Charley – a former navy man turned housekeeper. How about “The Brady Bunch” with the always entertaining Alice? And “The Jeffersons”? How much fun would it be if you didn’t have Florence’s sassy demeanor to frustrate George? And then there is “Benson”

Benson was Governor Gatling’s butler who ran the Governor’s Mansion. This was a spinoff of the critically acclaimed TV show “Soap”. The one thing all these characters had in common was WISDOM. Who would have believed that episode after episode of these sitcoms would have salient advice coming from the help. There it would be. Marcia hugging Alice’s neck in thanks for advice about boys. Or Mr. French – the least likely “gentleman’s gentleman” to parent a child – having a tender moment with Buffy.

Benson had enough wisdom to eventually become Lt. Governor. Which brings us to “The Donald”. Trump has or at least “had” a butler. (Maybe he needs to be vetted for Veep.) You might have read about his Facebook posts recently. The gentleman’s name is Anthony Senecal. Much like Benson, Senecal graduated from butler to “historian’ of Mara Lago, Trump’s Florida mansion. Historian of Mara Lago is probably a higher position than Lt. Governor of Florida, so maybe Senecal did better than Benson, but I digress. Trump is a television star. He is, I’m sure, aware that servants always have the wisest answers from sitting in his silk pajamas on his couch eating meatloaf and watching sitcoms. If you take this as your premise, many of Trump’s positions take on a clearer light.

For instance Senecal does not like Muslims. That explains the call from Trump for banning Muslims. Senecal calls them “Muzzies”. I had never heard this term before. I googled it and the Urban Dictionary does define it as a term for Muslims that is not necessarily pejorative. I’ll wait until I see Webster’s before I determine if it’s pejorative, but it definitely sounds like it is. He called President Obama a traitor and a filthy Muzzy. Hmmmmm…..and the Donald kept wanting to see Obama’s birth certificate. Wonder if he got that idea from Senecal. Makes as much sense as Marcia Brady not shaving her legs before the big date with the quarterback because Alice told her she wouldn’t sleep with him if she didn’t shave.

Senecal hates Muslims so much he even wants to bomb out Detroit and Milwaukee. Huh? Do they have lots of Muslims? I mean Trump won Michigan and carried Detroit so that might not be the best way to reward voters. The only discussion of bombing I recall the Donald engaging in involved whether he would use nukes in NATO held territory. Trump essentially said “maybe”. Guess if Trump is elected we can look forward to Motown glowing brighter than the Temptations sequined outfits in a Vegas show at Caeser’s. Can’t you just see ole Slim Pickens flying over Detroit in a Trump jet with a nuke strapped to the bottom?

And Milwaukee?? What’s more American than Budweiser and brats? The Packers are nearby. And Trump may nuke it? Hell yeah! “Lyin Ted” Cruz won Wisconsin AND Milwaukee along the way. Faster than Uncle Charlie smacking Ernie in the back of the head for breaking his finest punch bowl, Trump will launch an ICBM attack from a submarine in Lake Superior.

Senecal also has a Confederate fFag prominently displayed on his Facebook page. Well now I understand why Trump has such a hard time denouncing white supremacy. That would be like Opie denouncing Aunt Bee’s bridge club. How un-american would that be?

It’s all becoming clear now isn’t it? Senecal came to light because some of his comments come pretty close to threatening to kill the President. That’s a federal crime. The Secret Service went and spoke to him about that. He told them he wouldn’t shoot Obama because Washington was too far to drive.

But, it’s not too far from Trump to go in a Trump jet. Perhaps the Secret Service should be checking Trump for elephant guns in his limo the next time he ventures to our nations Capitol. I mean, think about it. Wouldn’t Governor Gatling do it for Benson?

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